Tips & Tricks of the Trade

Now, I'm going to share some brilliant tips that I have developed in my 26 years of tanning.  You are not going to want to miss this.  I come from a long line of tanners.  My mother has olive skin that is almost Mediterranean and she tans really easily (my brother shares this enviable trait).  My skin is more like my dad's -- we have medium skin that can burn, but doesn't always burn.  Once we get past that "first burn" of the summer, we're good to go.  My high school yearbook proclaimed me most likely to be tan...event at Dartmouth.  Yep, that's right. I'm the real deal. 

For as long as I can remember, I spent my summers outside within sight of some body of water.  When I was younger, this time was spent playing underwater freeze tag (think about it) or categories from a diving board (always awesome) and I didn't need to work getting an even tan.  It just happened.  However, as I got older and speedos gave way to two pieces, I really honed my laying out chops.  I have worked on laying out in various locales: the country clubs of Atlanta, St. Thomas,  Gulf of Mexico, Montego Bay, Maui, Lake Burton & Rabun, Newport, Los Cabos, Sea Island, Cozumel, Aruba, Nantucket, Charleston, Williamsburg.

Anyways, here are some must have items for an enjoyable beach/pool/lake/backyard experience:

1. Ice Water (at least 24 oz.): Preferably ice water that has been infused with citrus or cucumber (think spa water).  I don't really have time to create pitchers of water with slices of orange in it (my personal favorite), I settle for ice water with lime.  Note: after 3 p.m., this can be replaced with a fruity adult beverage (I usually like something that includes club soda, sprite, or tonic -- I find the bubbles refreshing).
2. Beach Read: This is tricky.  It needs to be something that keeps your attention to the extent where you can't put it down, but not too complex where you have to keep rereading the same  page.  Here are few suggestions: The Blue Bistro by Elin Hildebrand, One Day by David Nicholls, and The Late, Lamented Life of Molly Marx by Sally Koslow, and South of Broad by Pat Conroy.
3. Beach Sheets: Not beach towels, beach sheets (think bath sheet).  At least 2, but 3 would not be excessive.  Your entire lounge chair must be covered.
4. Flip Flops that can get wet: When you're laying out, your flip flops get hot.  You need to have flip flops that you can dunk in the water to cool off before you slip your tootsies in them.
5. Strapless (or can be made strapless) Bathing Suit: Seriously, nothing screams 15 year old more than halter-top strap lines.
6. iPod: I'm iffy on listening to music while tanning just because my ears always start hurting after about 20 minutes of laying down with earbuds in.  Although, I do recognize the beauty of enjoying some Jimmy Buffett whilst sitting by emerald green waters, so this I leave to you.  However, do not replace the Beach Read with an iPod.  It is meant as a supplement.
7. Beach Tote:  Now is not the time for designer bags.  Laying out is meant to be a low-key activity.  I suggest a LL Bean monogrammed tote bag or even one of these recyclable grocery totes.  These are meant to get sandy and dirty.

Those are the essentials for an enjoyable afternoon laying out by the pool, lake, or beach.  Trust me, I'm a professional.